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January 15, 2010

Friday: Full Body Scans to Double as Annual Checkups

Solution to Airport Security, Health Care Woes

Body scan WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) In what some in the White House are calling a "win/win" solution to the nation's airport security and health care reform problems, starting next month U.S. airports will begin conducting full body scans that will double as annual physical checkups.
President Obama announced the breakthrough solution, telling reporters, "With this all-purpose exam, we will be able to find everything from a hidden weapon to a spot on your lung."
After scanning a passenger, Mr. Obama said, "We will either give you a clean bill of health or wrestle you to the ground."

 

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